Will He Marry Her?

one of my favorite movies is a Christian film called Old Fashioned;written, and directed by Rick

 Swartzwelder, he was also the main character and totally handsome. If you haven't seen it, without

 spoiling it, the main character is a reformed Christian, having abandoned his wild ways; now has rules for

 himself to stay in check. It wasn't until recently when I ran into a young fella at the grocery store buying

 flowers for his girlfriend... "just because" did i understand the point. Dating teaches couples how to be 

good at dating. It in no way prepares you for the future, marrige or the changes that come with it. It is not 

the rule but the exception that picks up flowers ..... because. After you settle into marriage and the mystery 

has worn off, and it will! Regular life doesn't give you butterflies and tingles, at leeast not in the same 

way. It's not that the romance is gone, it just becomes more comfortable and changes. I cannot speak for 

anyone else, but when my husband cleans the kitchen or takes it upon himself to vacuum, I find that a 

romantic gesture. Sitting together in the evening with good music and a glass of wine beats a bar any 

day, even on Disco-hell night. There is a comfortable companionship that we share that was tingly and 

exciting when we were getting to know each other. Now, it makes me smile with ease and happiness, 

especially when one of "my songs" is playing. So, will he ask? Probably ,but don't rush. Take your time 

and enjoy being you before you rush to the altar. And know that your relationship changes 

immediately...in na bad way, just changes. Be prepared.

Dieting Forever

This morning with my coffee, i absentmindedly turned on an old episode of Friends. For those pf us, once skinny girls who are atill carrying arounf the after-effects of childbirth. This show is like a lemon in a paper cut. But today, while Chandler's tall girlfriend with perfect srms and a Scarlett O'Hara waist stood there. i was eating my diet breakfast and black coffee....yek, i relized that I am not chasing an adult thin nody, but the body of youth. Those arms and protrudung pelvic bones are really a natural look of youth, early twenties, pre-marriage, no children. So, i have to think, am i killing myself for something i have had and will never get back. Don't get me wrong. i have seen the lasdies that have a daughter's esdding coming up and hitthe gym;lose body mass, sport sleeveless shirts with her toned arms, and short swing dresses. i am not one of them and it is still not the body I have been chasing for eighteen years. My body has been through a lot to be sitting here today writing. I also work hard to love me as I am, because i am beautifully and wondserfully made...but I wasn't made like this it is more of a becoming. Still, the fact that this body is still wrking is a complete miracle. i havev put it through stage V cancer, two high risk pregnancies (one with twins), a severe stroke, and years of being autoimmune compromised. scleroderma/lupus. it is time that i embrace who and what I am. A fifty year old with three teenagers. i will continue to try an improve myself just not to look like a kid again.Now, i will shoot to lok like a fit me. Comparing myself to other people is not working for me. ***disclaimer*** I can onky type with one hand and tend to havetypos.