Up in my Feels... Again

     Well,  It is Master’s week again. My least favorite week of the year.

I stay home, John goes to the course, at least I used to stay home with the kids… They're all grown men now and live away.. Perhaps I will read another book, work on my tan. Feed my gummy bear habit.. I only share this information because
I am confident that no one ever reads what I write on here., except occasionally James…..Hi James!

A memory popped up on my FB feed of a post I wrote about wanting to do better about being in touch with my old friends after William died.  I recently ran into an old friend and I realized I haven’t done any better at  staying in touch with old friends and people  who have a special place in my heart.

I really hate when I get up in my feels!   But the twins leave again tomorrow, It’s always an “ick” day right before they leave again.   I miss my babies!
I’d give anything to have them back., i know they are exactly where they should be doing what comes next for them , and are living their best lives. My heart still hurts.

So, back to the original topic, if we were good friends and lost touch, I am thinking about you and wishing you well;;. Hell, maybe one day we will actually have an ARC  c/o 990  class reunion…. But probably we won’t. I hope we have one before I die!

Besides, we all know I'm the next to go!

The Pity Party was Today

          I wonder why when I am knee deep in busy and  exhausted, I am having the best time of

 my life.The slow pace of life that I’ve found myself in these days is horribly unsatisfying and, 

scary. The quiet  surrounds me like a grave and my busy brain reaches to places it has never 

traveled; and doesn’t need to now. Filling my time is stressful. I  no longer feel I have a place 

 in this world; i no longer fit. My puzzle, which has been vibrant, and perfect for many

 years, has lost essential pieces that make my world complete.

        I am a survivor, of many things, but I do not feel strong right now. i know it will return, 

because The Lord(God) is my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. 

With God, nothing is impossible. I feel confidently that this is just one more thing to survive.

       Being am avid watcher of college football, i hear and. Despise  the word adversity a lot. 

To quote my son at seven years old, “Geesch, they think that is diversity? Diversity is. When 

you are stuck under a rock and have to chew our own eg off to get free.” I feel in touch 

recently with his definition of adversity.

          Normally, i don’t allow a pity party for myself , but today i was n pain and succumbed 

to it . Don’t judge me too harshly for it.

 Pity Party for Tara:

 Table of one.