Last night, my oldest son, invited me to watch Lightyear with him. when it premiered in
the theater, I expressed to him, my desire to watch that only with him. With three boys,
superheroes were big at my house; most came and went. John stayed loyal to Buzz. We had
big Buzz, red Buzz, blue Buzz, whatever new Buzz was on the shelf, eventually came to
live at The Salley House; each loved fiercely. One evening at Publix, John sitting proudly
in the cart, the twins "driving in the bottom car cart:", A woman
stopped me and asked in a snarky voice, why my son was wearing his costume
in public. "He believes he is Buzz Lightyear", I replied as if it was obvious; in a
tone to end the conversation. John sat, oblivious shooting people with his
pretend arm laser shew, shew, shew.
Most people smiling at his innocent play. The next time we shopped I
let him wear his blow up Buzz wings.
Buzz and the Toy Story movies stayed family favorites well into elementary school, and the
family went together when Toy Story 3 hit the theater. I cried as
Andy said goodbye and left for college.
Little did I know how painful his growing up would actually become. Never,
did I think my Buzz Lightyear would struggle with addiction and try to quit high school,
Shout "fuck you" or "I hate you; you make life miserable".
He was my little buddy, my first baby. He made me a mother, we were close. He confided.
in me and stalled at bedtime every night with one more thing to tell me. At 15, I knew my little Buzz was slipping away. It wasn't until last night, watching Lightyear on the
6-foot beanbag in his room, plus girlfriend that I knew in my heart, Buzz was
gone forever.
And my heart broke.
He turns 19 in 6 hours.
Happy Birthday My Buzz! Love, Mom. 2023
