Last year, almost exactly a year ago, about 45v minutes after arriving home from work, I teach fifth grade. I suffered a massive , right, temporal stroke at 45 years old. It wasashock to us all! I have brief snippets of what I remember, or think I remember.But the next 3-5 days were spent in the ICU with friends and family conning to check on me. I was paralyzed on my left side and had left side neglect .. if you stood on the left sid e of my bed, I could not see you sad barely hear you. I remember being agitated ut my mother assured me tharsomeone had called the school and a sub would be found for my class, oh shoot, id left my desk messy! and had brought everything home with me. when can I go back, I wanted to know.."Probably never, the dr said.:WHAT????I was having a really bad day< and now they want me to stand on my leg that I cannot feel, much less move!
I have been in extensive therapy since that night. Two or three weeks int my hospital stay, they transported me to a rehabilitation hospital.I really wanted to go home t my twin 6th graders and my 8th graders who I knew had been with me throughout the stroke at home, oh lawd, what did he see?
the news is good, I lived through the night; and I =can see, walk, talk and move my left arm although my hand doesn't work and both arm and hand have no function. I am slow and I know it. I move clumsily and slowly, but I got my driver's license back in late June, 9 months later.
I Haven't returned to work though. although I am doing very well. I have not finished healing and I am still in therapy.
So, in August when every one that I know was going back to school,
I was home. There was no classroom to decorate, no class list for me, I have not felt this purposeless in a Long, long tine. But I have purpose! Teach, yes, but always mother first..
The boys don't seem to need much from me other than a ride and money. So this stay at hone mom stuff when no one is home STINKS. I find myself checking the clock and thinking, math just ended....oh geez, I need to sit-down.If I thought I could make it through the day, I would go back.I miss the kids and my teacher friends, interaction with people.. I taught at one school for 18 years!!! Now, I feel like I need to start over somewhere else if I go back,because I am not the same and never will be. so what do I do?
